The Feel Good Series
by Loolabelle
Summary: New story up now.Set in the future. Sam.Jack and Daniel.Janet pairing. Angry women arent always bad...right?
1. Smurf Wars

Author's Note:  
  
Ok, you have all read the first two stories in this, but I decided to do something different. I like making people smile if you have read any of my stuff, you will know this already. So, I decided to use this space to post little stories that I write. The separate chapters are not linked in any way, but are just small stories that should make you laugh. If you don't like this idea, tell me, then don't bother reading this anymore. Otherwise, please enlighten me to whether you like the stories or not.  
  
Smurf Wars  
  
"Teal'c, you and Daniel go that way, Carter and I will go this way, and we will rendezvous back at the north side." Colonel Jack O'Neill ordered, pointing in the respective directions. Teal'c simply nodded, as Teal'c often does, and the team separated. As Jack and Sam rushed toward the far edge of the forest, they heard someone try to sneak up on them.  
  
"Sir! Watch out!" Sam cried as she spun around and shot the follower. The man fell with a thud and a grunt. Jack went over to him and looked down, then grinned.  
  
"Sorry General Hammond." He said with a chuckle. "You asked for it though."  
  
"Oh well. C'mon sir, we gotta go." Sam said, grinning. Jack nodded, patted his C.O. on the shoulder and ran off. A few seconds later, General George Hammond sat up.  
  
"Damn." He muttered and rubbed at the bright blue paint on his vest. How is it that I can get through two wars without getting shot, but not one game of paintball? He thought and lay back down to wait till the end of the game.  
  
2 Weeks Earlier  
  
"Oh, pleeeze. We could SO kick your butts in ANY game." Jack said with a grin to the other Colonel.  
  
"I doubt that seriously, O'Neill. But, if you would like to make a friendly bet, and name the game, then we would happily prove to you that we can beat you at anything." Colonel Boyson said, smirking back. This had been an ongoing, friendly argument between the two for months. He watched as Jack thought about his options as their teams looked on. The were in the commissary, sitting at separate tables, and had gotten into it when Jack had asked Boyson about his good, if slightly green team. Jack moved over to his team and went into a huddle, discussing the options. Finally turning to the Boyson, he grinned evilly.  
  
"Alright, the losing team has to serve the other lunch everyday that they are on downtown for a month." Jack answered.  
  
"Hmmm...Well, make it two months, my boys need a bit of R&R." Boyson answered, and Jack agreed. "The game?"  
  
"Paintball." Jack answered.  
  
"What about Paintball, Colonel?" Came a voice from behind him. When Jack spun around, he came nose to nose with his CO, General Hammond.  
  
"Oh, Colonel Boyson and I have just decided to play a little game of Paintball to see whose team is best." Jack answered. The General nodded.  
  
"Well, just so this argument doesn't come up with any of the other teams, howabout we make it a SGC-wide challenge? Except for a team off world, and the people we need here to keep everything running smoothly, all the teams will compete in this little game of yours." The General suggested. Jack and Boyson grinned wildly at each other, and nodded in unison.  
  
Two weeks later, ironically, all the teams were home on Earth, and all but a few SGC members were there. Teams 12,4 and 5 were all eliminated by the blue paint splattered on them, and there were several other casualties laying around. It looked like the Smurfs were having a civil war. General Hammond had joined up with SG-11, since one of theirs was in the infirmary with the flu and Janet was standing by just in case someone shot another in a place that would cause damage. It was always fun until someone lost a blue covered eye...  
  
"Carter, do you see anything?" Jack asked as he trudged through the forest.  
  
"No, sir. OH, there is someone that looks familiar." Sam responded, seeing a body stir and move out of their way. Jack walked over to them and looked down, barely controlling the laughter. Lying on the ground, with a paint-covered hip, was Colonel Boyson.  
  
"First, I want eggs, over easy, then toast and some orange juice." Jack said, bending down to Boyson, who was glaring half-heartedly up at him.  
  
"Oh shut up, Jack. Besides, my team is still going." He replied.  
  
"Uh-uh-uh.... Corpses can't talk." Jack said laughing, but his laughter was cut short as a paint ball whizzed by his ear. He hit the ground and looked to see where the ammo was coming from. Crawling behind a fallen tree, he joined Carter and started to shoot back at the ambush. Finally, with a satisfying thud, they heard the sniper fall.  
  
"Whew, that was close." Jack whispered. They started going toward their destination, shooting and "painting" people as they went. Finally, they heard the intercom (someone had rigged one up that was loud enough for the whole state to hear) announce only two teams left: SG-1, and SG-2, O'Neill's, and Boyson's.  
  
Jack and his team had met up at the designated spot and were carefully picking through the forest in effort to find the enemy. Somehow, none of them had managed to get hit, although it had come close with Daniel when he decided to look at a tree's roots instead of up in it where there had been a sniper. Luckily, Teal'c had seen him and the man was now sitting under the aforementioned tree with a blue stomach. All of a sudden all blue hell broke loose. Flying paint balls surrounded them and they dove to shelter.  
  
"Carter, where are they coming from?!" Jack yelled as one hit dangerously near his shoe.  
  
"I believe they are in the patch of trees at our 7, sir." Sam answered when she dove back down from shooting. The battle went on for some time until the other team was finally painted to death. SG-1 erupted in cheers.  
  
"WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!" Jack hollered. He turned to look at his teammates who just looked back at him. If he didn't know better, those smirks hid something other than victory. Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c all looked maliciously at Jack, then glanced at each other.  
  
"What? Why are you three looking at me like th...?" Jack asked, but was cut off when Sam nodded at her comrades. Given the go, the three pointed their guns at Jack and fired directly into his padded vest. Jack looked down at himself, oozing with blue paint, and laughed. "Oh, that's IT!" he said and started firing at them.  
  
The Smurf War continued for another 10 minutes before anyone ran out of ammo and out of room to be shot.  
Top of Form  
Bottom of Form 


	2. No one gets left behind for ANYTHING!

A/N: This is my break from my other story. I need to let my muse catch up on her house cleaning, so this is what I decided to write. Hope you enjoy it! R&R!

Disclaimer: I own them and I am hiding them under my bed with the dust bunnies. Hehe! J/K!!!  
  
"Jack! You have to come with us!" Daniel cried over the noise around them.  
  
"No. You all go and leave me here. You can come back and get me later." Jack argued.  
  
"Sir, please! We don't want you here alone. You know the rule, 'No on gets left behind'" Sam argued back.  
  
"This is hardly a situation that calls for that rule, Carter. Now go. I will be fine." Jack said.  
  
"I must agree with major Carter, O'Neill. I believe you must come with us." Teal'c put in. Jack glared at him.  
  
"I said 'No' and I mean it. Now go before I find a zat lying around here and shoot you all." Jack threatened emptily.  
  
"Jack, no. You are coming with us even if we have to drag you. " Daniel threatened, completely un-emptily. Jack looked at the younger man and coughed, then wiped the red, sticky substance around his mouth away.  
  
"Go! Leave me alone! You are not going to get another chance to go if you don't do it now! That is an order!" Jack cried, praying they would just leave him. The others shook their heads in dismay. They didn't want to leave their CO and friend behind. It went against everything they were ever taught. They looked at each other, trying to decide whether to actually leave him. Daniel shook his head and grinned while Sam did the same thing.  
  
"Alright, Jack. If this is how it has to be, then so be it." Daniel said. He and Teal'c moved to either side of Jack and picked him up, physically lifting him from the ground he was on. Jack cried out in what sounded like tremendous pain, but Daniel and Teal'c continued.  
  
"Don't worry, Sir. I have your cotton candy right here, and a napkin for your mouth when you are finished with it later." Sam said from behind the struggling man.  
  
"Guy! Leave me alone! I DO NOT WANT TO GO ON THE ROLLER COASTER!!!! PUT ME DOWN!" Jack screamed, trying to get loose, to no avail. Ten minutes later, after Jack had finally given up, he was securely locked into the car of the machine. Daniel was beside him, laughing at the older man's white knuckles.  
  
"No one gets left behind, Jack. And don't you ever forget it!" He said just before they careened over the first hill, Jack screaming beside him.

A/N: Ok, short and sweet. What did you think? Hate it? Love it? Oh well, as long as it put a smile on your face for the day, I am happy. ---Loo


	3. The coffin that glows

A/N: Alright, here we go. Yet another silly little ditty for all my wonderful fans out there! Lol. R&R!  
  
Daniel squinted hard against the bright light in his eyes. It seems like it was all over his body, right down to his toe nails, and truth be told, it was. If he had screams, no one would have heard him, nor cared if they had. He was surrounded by white walls except for the device he was currently laying in. The harsh light burned into his skin, making him sweat all over. He slowly flexed his fingers and toes, wiggly them. He thanked whatever God there was that he wasn't claustrophobic as he relaxed more into the machine, letting it do the job that it set out to.

"Why do I do this? It is torture. I seem to be in here more often than not, and I know my body is starting to rebel from it's effects." He sighed. "I guess it is for the greater good in the end." He continued laying there, praying that time would go quickly. It was odd. He had heard that some people fell asleep whilst lying in the glowing coffin-type thing, but he never could. He was always wide awake, at the same time fighting to get away from the light and seeking it. Suddenly, he got an itch, but couldn't reach it. He squirmed against the confines, finally contorting his body and scratching the offending piece of skin. He would never understand why he did this to himself. He should just give up and let it all go. But that was the easy way out, and he didn't want to go that route. No, he would fight, not give up.

As Daniel heard the soft click and the lights go off, he lifted the top half of the tanning bed and sighed. He deeply inhaled the cool air around him as he got dressed.

"Someday, I will be able to get tan. Then they will see!"

A/N: As per usual, short but sweet. Did anyone guess where he was before the end? Obviously he was SUPPOSEDLY in the sarcophagus. Hehe. I am sooo evil sometimes. R&R!!!


	4. Obligatory SortaSex Scene

A/N: Ok, here is my fourth story. The next one that follows may or may not be related in some way to this one, but I haven't decided. Anyway, hope you enjoy this! R&R!  
  
OBLIGATORY SORTA SEX SCENE

"Daniel, stop it! Anyone could walk in at any time." Came Janet's voice from behind the door. Sam froze just before knocking on it and listened.

"Don't worry, Janet. No on is going to come in, especially without knocking. Relax." Daniel replied. There was no noise for several seconds, then Sam heard movement.

"No, now go to work. Do you have any idea what would happen if someone came in and saw this? I'd never live it down. Go." Janet said. Sam heard Daniel sigh deeply.

"Just a few more minutes, please? No on is going to find out. And you know how I get if I don't come and see you before lunch time." Daniel whined. Sam blinked in surprise. So that's why they hadn't seen Daniel much recently- he has been with Janet! Sam grinned widely at the thought of her friends finally getting together. She focused back on the situation at hand just in time to hear Janet sigh.

"Fine, just a little more. But then you have to go, and if you are a good little archeologist, we'll see about a meeting after my rounds later. Ok?" Janet bargained. Sam could practically see Daniel grin and nod spastically.

"Carter? Whatcha doin?" Sam jumped as her CO spoke behind her.

"Shhhh! Listen." Sam hissed. Jack raised an eyebrow at her, but leaned in to listen anyway.

"Did you hear that? Daniel?"

"Hmmm?"

"Get your brain away from there and listen to me! I hear voices." Janet demanded. They heard Daniel inhale deeply, as if there wasn't a problem in the world, heard an odd sound that must have come from the lips some how, and a groan.

"Fine. Want me to leave?" he asked.

"I guess. But meet me here tonight, ok?" Sam suddenly remembered why she was there. And since she didn't want to be caught spying on her friends, she promptly knocked on the door.

"I told you I heard voices! Hurry up!" Janet hissed. A few moments later, they heard, "Um, come in." Sam opened the door and walked in, followed closely by Jack.

"Hey guys! Whatcha been doin in here?" Jack asked, grinned like a Cheshire Cat. Daniel and Janet looked guiltily at each other.

"We're busted aren't we?" Janet asked and the two other officers nodded.

"Look, guys it isn't what you think." Daniel started.

"Give it up, Daniel. They caught us. Sam, Colonel...I am afraid that I have a confession to make. I have been slipping Dr. Jackson coffee, against my better judgment, I might add, to keep him and everyone else on base sane." Janet explained.

"Why would you need to slip him coffee?" Jack asked.

"I originally ordered him to never have coffee again, but since he gets so...err...well, you know, I decided to give him an occasional bit of contraband caffeine. Which is why we are hiding in my office. If everyone else knew I was treating Dr. Jackson differently, they would annoy me about it." She explained further. Sam and Jack nodded dumbly for a moment, then realized what they had been thinking earlier.

"Oh...OH! I see, well, umm.....I brought these down here for you. I will just be going. See ya later, Janet!" Sam said and hurried out of the room.

"Uh, and I was just...um...looking for Carter. Found her! Bye!" Jack called and also beat a hasty retreat.

Daniel and Janet watched as their friends left, then turned to each other as the door closed once again. Daniel broke out into a full blown grin.

"Think they suspected anything?" he asked his lover.

"I don't think so, not after the coffee story I just told them." Janet replied.

"Which, might I add, was rather brilliant." He said, sauntering over to her.

"Thank you, but we do need to be a bit more cautious." Janet replied, wrapping her arms around his neck. Daniel pulled her closer and nuzzled her ear.

"This isn't being cautious, ya know." He said.

"Blame it on the coffee." Janet said and kissed him.

"Mmmm, just the way I like it." Daniel replied and the two kissed again.  
Soon, coffee was the last thing on either Doctor's mind.


	5. Japan, we have a problem

A/N: This idea came to me earlier and I just had to write it out. I am sure that everyone and their grandmother has written something concerning Sam and her not being able to figure something out, including this "alien" piece of technology, but I decided to take a crack at it. R&R!!!  
  
"Sam, it isn't that big of a deal, I don't think." Daniel said, exasperated. They had been trying to figure the machine out for an hour now, and there was no sign of Sam letting up.

"It is to me. Now, if I push this button....flashing is good, right?" the frustrated Major asked.

"Yes, I believe flashing is good. It means there is power, anyway. Right?"

"I guess so." Sam answered half-mindedly. She was immersed in the device again, poking it as if it would suddenly answer all the questions of the universe. Hey, stranger things have happened, right?

"Maybe if you just push that button and hold that other one down, it will change." Daniel supplied. With a grunt, Sam did as he told.

"What exactly does that mean?" she asked when it began to blink something different.

"Um...I'm not sure. I have never seen one of these flash that before." The archaeologist answered, distressed now.

"Well, that is just great. Some geniuses we are." Sam muttered.

"I know lots and lots of people who wouldn't be able to figure this out."

"Yeah, like everyone else on the planet?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"Exactly." Sam just rolled her eyes at his answer. She continued to push buttons, praying that the machine would do what she wanted, but to no avail. Suddenly, the machine let out a loud beep and went silent and dark.  
  
"Oops. That wasn't good." Daniel commented, watching as Sam prodded the machine again. Remembering how she had turned it on the first time, she pushed the correct button. With a groan, she slapped the annoying machine.

"Great, back to the beginning again." She grumbled.

"Hey, it isn't the first time we had to start over on a machine before. Of course, none have been nearly as annoying as this." Daniel said and Sam grudgingly agreed. With a sigh, she looked at him.

"Daniel, hand me the phone. I am calling Japan." She said.

"Are you sure that that is a good idea?" he asked in shock. "I think we should keep this classified."

"If we do, we are never going to figure it out. Now hand me the phone."

"Ok, whatever you say." Daniel said and did as he was told.   


The next month, General Hammond was heading down to Major Carter's lab with a grim look on his face. When he arrived, he approached her with a stern look.

"Major Carter, I need to ask you a question." He said. Sam jumped at the sound of his voice and came to attention.

"Yes, sir. What can I answer?" she said.

"May I ask why there is a $52.16 long distance fee charged to Japan from last months SGC phone bill?" he asked, eyeing her speculatively. Sam looked down, slightly ashamed.

"Um, well...It's like this sir. Dr. Jackson and I were having trouble figuring out a piece of technology, and we called a company in Japan to gain help." She explained, trying to stretch around the truth. General Hammond nodded.

"And what was this piece of technology? Was is classified?"

"No, sir."

"Then what was it?"

"Um....." Sam sighed in defeat. She had no choice but to tell her Superior Officer the truth. "It was a VCR, sir. We couldn't figure out how to set the time on it, so we called the company in Japan where it was made." She said, embarrassed. General Hammond studied her closely, then grinned.

"That is an acceptable reason to call Japan. However, so that I can clear it, I am afraid that I must ask a favor of you."

"Anything, Sir." Sam said, coming back to attention again.

"Could you possibly set my VCR clock? It is driving me crazy, blinking 12:00, 12:00, 12:00 over and over again."

A/N: Well, what did you think? I know, it was obvious probably what it was all about, but I figure, "What the heck?" Ok. R&R!!!!


	6. Angry women and their men

A/N: This is set in the future. Janet did not die (the TV lied, I am telling you! If she did die, then she pulled a Daniel Jackson and just came back again, so there!) Anyway, Jack and Sam are together, and so are Janet and Daniel.  
  
Stupid Men!  
  
Jack and Daniel sat in the living room of Jack's house, watching the game progress. Jack was proud of himself for finally getting Daniel to see the light when it came to hockey, and he grinned proudly at his friend as Daniel screamed at the TV.

"Are you kidding me? He can't do that! Where in the world are the refs looking, at the stands? How could they miss that?" Daniel cried, causing Jack to just laugh at him.

"Give it up, Danny. The Wilds are going to win this." He proclaimed and Daniel just glared at him.

"With the way Avalanche is playing, I am inclined to agree." The younger man said sadly. He had chosen Avalanche as his favorite team, and now they were going up against Jack's favorite, Minnesota Wilds. The score was 4-2, in favor of Jack. Daniel was just glad he hadn't bet Jack too much money on the game. $10 wasn't too much to lose. Both men were so caught up in the game that neither heard the door slam shut and two other people enter the room. The only way they noticed was when both Sam and Janet stood in front of the TV, with Sam turning it off on the set.

"Hey! We were watching that." Both men yelled in unison. However, they both shut up quickly when they noticed the heated and angry looks that their wives were shooting them.

"What did we do this time?" Jack asked.

"Whatever it is, we apologize and won't do it again." Daniel provided. They had been taught well. It didn't happen often, but both men had had to stay at the other's house during each of their pre-marriage time due to pissing the women off.

Janet and Sam continued to glare at them as both tried to compose themselves. Sam stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at her husband of 6 months, whilst Janet had her arms folded over her chest and glared at her husband of 3 months.

"You two are in SO much trouble!" Sam suddenly burst out. The two men looked at each other, then back to their obviously angry wives.

"Do you know that, because of you two, I am going to have to take time off from work for at least 3 months and Sam is going to have to stop going through the gate for at least a year?" Janet cried. At this, the men's heads shot up and looked at the girls standing in front of them.

"What?!"

"Why?"

"Sam, you cant take off that long from going on missions."

"And why would you need to take three months off, Janet?"

"WHAT DID WE DO?" the cried in unison. The women watched them fumble and stumble over themselves, not giving an inch.

"Also, because of you two, I am afraid that we need to move out of these houses." Sam said, continuing the lecture. Daniel and Jack both visibly paled at this.

"Sam, honey, we just moved into this house. Why in the world would we need to move again?" Jack asked, hoping she wouldn't bite his head off for speaking. Sam and Janet looked at each other. Finally, after much silent debate, they decided to give in. They looked back at their husbands as Sam answered his questions.

"Because we need more room for the babies." She answered, trying to hide the slow grin appearing on her face.

"The bab....Babies?" Jack asked slowly, then the light bulb finally popped on.

"You mean, you are both pregnant?" Daniel supplied.

"Yes, and within a week or two of each other, at that." Janet answered. The girls watched their husbands process the information. Jack and Daniel grinned widely and jumped up and grabbed their respective wives in tight hugs.  
  
9 MONTHS LATER.  
  
"Daniel Jackson, you are so dead when this is over!" Janet screamed as another contraction hit.

"Don't bother, Janet, he'll just come back." Sam supplied from the other bed.

"Then I am going to throw his rocks down the garbage disposal." Janet swore. Even amidst all her pain, Sam had to grin at her friend at that.

"Janet, honey, just relax. You need to breathe." Daniel coached, holding his wife's hand and praying that he didn't have any broken fingers after this.

"That goes the same for you, Sam. Breathe. Come on, you can do it, just like they taught us at the seminar." Jack said from his side of the room.

"Jack O'Neill, if this isn't over soon, your Simpson's videos are going to be joining Daniel's rocks in the disposal." Sam threatened. Jack paled even more and prayed along with Daniel and everyone present that this would be over soon. He still couldn't believe that they had gone into labor at the same time. Well, ok, technically, Sam had gone into labor first, but the excitement of it soon threw Janet into labor as well. He shook his head with a grin as Sam went into another contraction.

"Breathe. You can do it...there ya go, another passed." Daniel said, wiping his wife's face off and gently placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Do not kiss me, Dr. Jackson. That is how we got into this mess in the first place." Janet said, trying to relax between her contractions.

"Come on, Sam, not much longer now. Hey, Daniel, Janet! Come on, we'll race ya!" Jack called.  
  
45 minutes later, there were 2 tiny screams, each within a couple minutes of each other. After being cleaned up, they were first handed to their mothers.

"I cant believe it. You were right, Jack. We did get a baby boy." Sam sighed, looking at her newborn son in wonderment. The proud father was standing beside her, staring down at the two most important people in his life.

"What should we name him?" he asked. Sam thought for only a moment before grinning.  
  
On the other side of the room, Daniel and Janet were looking at their new, yawning daughter.

"She needs coffee." Daniel quipped, quietly.

"Oh no you don't. You are not allowed to corrupt this child." Janet replied. She looked up to see her husband's tearful eyes and smile. He smiled back at her, then leaned in to place a soft kiss on her and their baby girl's foreheads.

"What should we name her?" he asked. Janet only thought a moment before grinning back at him.  
  
3 YEARS LATER.  
  
"Daniel! Would you please go get your daughter before she digs up my roses?" Sam called to her friend. Daniel grinned and ran over, removing the small plastic shovel from his daughter's hand.

"I can't help it that she took after her father. She likes looking for artifacts."

"Yes, and all she brings home are tons of rocks." Janet complained good naturedly.

"Like father like daughter." Jack commented, receiving a slight glare from Daniel.

"Oh, like your son isn't just like you, Jack. I mean, look at him!" Daniel said, pointing to the small boy out in the middle of the yard. He was standing in front of the kiddy-pool with a pint-sized fishing pole.

"Think we should tell him that there aren't any fish in there?" Janet asked.

"Now, where have I heard that from?" Sam answered, squeezing her husband's hand. They all looked back at their children, then laughed as Sammie Claire Jackson dumped her two rocks into the pool. Danny Charles O'Neill cried out in a long whine now that his fishing water was dirty.

"Gee, look. An O'Neill annoying a Jackson. There's something new." Daniel said sarcastically. Everyone laughed as the two children played together.

A/N: Ok, short, sweet, but fun to write. I am leaving for my Las Vegas trip soon, so don't expect anything for a week or two. However, I will try to post something for you before I leave Monday morning. R&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
